Hola. Hope all enjoyed their holiday festivities. For being a good little boy Santa brought me the ’86 Mets World Series DVD set, the Best of Baseball Digest, Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink, and a shot glass checkers set. So needless to say I did well.
Now on to more serious issues …
Apparently ESPN The Weekend 2007 is nearly upon us. Featuring numerous athletes, media personalities, and Disney characters, the event showcases all that is powerful and successful in the Disney Empire. Needless to say, you probably won’t see 11 drunken midgets dressed like Pinocchio using their ESPN Mobile phones.
But besides the blatant cross-merchandising commercialism, what really tweaks my melon is ESPN’s newest commercial in which Karl Ravech asks Disney’s Chip and Dale if they like to work the double team. Very, very disturbing. I know “double team” should refer to a defensive scheme, but I can’t help feeling the World Wide Leader purposefully made a commercial ripe with sexual innuendo.
(Imagine for a moment: two lovely, spritely little chipmunks frolicking in a meadow with young nubile nymphet, giving each other high fives and pumping fists as they run a tag-team with proficiency not seen since the days of Davey Boy Smith and the Dynamite Kid.)
Surprised the Disney Corporation would have Karl Ravech ask a question with such blatant erotic undertones? Don’t be. Sometimes the Happiest Place on Earth has given us some really pornographic ideas. Here is some history (all information courtesy of snopes.com):
– In 1977, Disney animators inserted “the objectionable image” of a topless woman in the background of The Rescuers. The image was later removed in the video version of the film.
– The promotional artwork on the videocassette case of The Little Mermaid features a castle spire eerily resembling a penis.
– A dust cloud in The Lion King conveniently spells “S-E-X”.
– The animators of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? supposedly drew in Jessica Rabbit sans undergarmets.
Hopefully I am the only ESPN viewer whose mind immediately drifts towards the perverted when two small rodents are asked about their two-on-one tendencies. But I doubt it. And yes, the above image above depicts Chip and Dale trying to bust a nut. Pervert.