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Things to Do in Denver When A.I. Comes to Town


First of all, don’t die.

Second, be the first on your block to represent. Make a customized Iverson Nuggets jersey here.

(Big question: Will Iverson wear number three with the Nuggets? Currently, that’s DerMarr Johnson‘s number. How much A.I. pay? Will he buy DerMarr a Rolex or a Lexus? Or will he find new digits to signify his new start?)

Third, buy Nuggets tickets. I don’t need to explain this.

Fourth, create a commemorative placard for Ivan McFarlin‘s spot on the Nuggets’ bench. He should be missed.

Fifth, invest in an air tank for Mr. Iverson. I don’t think anyone has mentioned this yet, but the thin air in Denver is going to get A.I. tired quick for the first few weeks. Especially if the Nuggets try to run like gangbusters with their new star.

Sixth, buy extensive medical coverage for Marcus Camby and Nene. Your Nuggets will only go as far as your big men carry them.

Seventh, in the rare case Camby or Nene do get hurt, implore your local NBA team to sign Sun Ming Ming. I know, we have a Sun Ming Ming fetish here at The Serious Tip, but the guy is nearly 7’9″. Somebody has to box out Amare and Dirk and Yao and Tim Duncan.

Eighth, get to know your new superstar by visiting “The Official MySpace Page of Allen Iverson”.

Ninth, stop snitchin’. Especially if Mr. Iverson brings his cousin and other family with him.

Tenth, vote for Rory. Not only is no Avalanche defenseman are among the top five vote getters for Western Conference defenseman, but a vote for Rory has become a civic/patriotic duty.

– Jordi


1 comment on Things to Do in Denver When A.I. Comes to Town

  1. Who the hell is DerMarr Johnson? If I were him I’d hand over the #3 to Iverson immediately and then crap my pants.

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