Today we welcome back independent wrestling superstar Bryan Manson. When we last saw Mr. Manson, he was mindlessly meandering through Mudville mauling midgets mercilessly. So with our full riot gear in tow, The Serious Tip attempted to find the truth behind the soon-to-be legend of Bryan Manson.
The Serious Tip: Welcome back Mr. Manson. So let start off with an easy question, who would you love to face off with in the squared circle (past or present)?
Bryan Manson: Of all the wrestlers to ever work, I would love to wrestle against Bret Hart, circa 1990. His technical ability is among the best and he is the best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever will be … Until I beat him.
The Serious Tip: I see that happening … when Bret Hart is about 90. But I digress. So what are your top five all-time favorite matches?
Bryan Manson: Finally, a question where I can have more than one favorite. First any match with Masato Tanaka against Mike Awesome. Those guys put on a great show everytime. Then I would have to say D-Von & Bubba Ray, the Dudley Boyz, versus Kronus and Saturn, the Eliminators, in ECW. Great tag team match, not much tagging, but just a festival of double team moves and straight-out brawling. Then I would say the Undertaker against Mankind in the infamous Hell in a Cell Match. Decent wrestling, but the resolve of Mick Foley is an awesome thing. Second favorite match ever would be Eddie Guerrero against Dean Malenko in their last ECW match. It was two out of three falls and a great technical wrestling match, perhaps the best technical display ever. But my favorite match ever would have to be Rob Van Dam versus Jerry Lynn in ECW. Great match, high-flying, technical, hardcore, no dragging on, just action the whole time, by far the greatest match ever. ECW has always put on better wrestling throughout the company’s lifetime, be it technical wrestling or the bloody brutality know as hardcore.
Bryan Manson: So far, I would have to say my singles match against Nooie Lee. He is a great wrestler and I would love to wrestle him again in the near future, as it would be even better than the last one.
The Serious Tip: I think I have heard porn stars talk of each other the same way. Speaking of, do wrestlers have groupies? If so, what is the wrestler groupie scene like?
Bryan Manson: Wrestling groupies are referred to as Ring Rats, and if they do exist, they don’t go to the shows I work. Believe me, if they wanted to do any of the wrestlers at my shows it would be me.
The Serious Tip: Umm … yeah. Speaking of women, who is the hottest female wrestler?
Bryan Manson: Well, until recently, I would’ve said Trish Stratus, due to her ample wrestling skills and ample breasts. But as she is no longer under the employ of WWE, I would say Mickie James. For some reason, the better the chick wrestles, the hotter she seems. Mickie James is a great wrestler and very easy on the eyes.
The Serious Tip: Mickie James, huh? I guess everyone is due their own opinion now that Stacy Keibler is under the employment of the Mouse. By the way, here at The Serious Tip we are such big admirers of Ms. Keibler (and hopefully she is an admirer of The Serious Tip) that I am going to post a picture of her and not your Mickie James. My site, my rules. But since this interview is about you, have you held any belts or won any championships yet?
Bryan Manson: I have held the 1st Class Pro Wrestling Tag Team Wrestling Championship as the Koffin Kidz with my partner, Jay Icon. Oh and it is with K’s and Z’s because that’s how the kool kidz do it.
The Serious Tip: Those kooky krazy kool kidz. They need to get away from their eye-pods and their eBays and go outside and play a sport like jacks or cricket or wrestling. Er, is pro wrestling a sport?
Bryan Manson: Sport? No. Are wrestlers athletes? Yes.
The Serious Tip: Ok, that was a quick answer. You know, I remember back in the day there were some wrestlers who you knew looked like Barry Bonds with their thick necks and shriveled testicles (or so I’ve heard). Is steroids still a problem in pro wrestling?
Bryan Manson: Maybe back in the 1980s, but today, with all the information of abuse and all the legal products out there, I don’t see a problem at all.
The Serious Tip: But you guys can still get hurt, right? What are the inherent dangers of pro wrestling?
Bryan Manson: Obviously bodily injury is a huge danger, as wrestlers are hitting and slamming each other, as well as leaping off of eight foot heights to concrete floors. Bones are easily broken, muscles torn, and bruises and cuts are plenty. The biggest danger, however, is stepping into the ring with Bryan Manson and not bringing your “A” game.
The Serious Tip: You got me skurred. So what is the biggest false stereotype people have of wrestling? Of wrestlers?
Bryan Manson: Well, either people believe wrestling is totally real or totally fake. That’s the biggest stereotype by far. Some think that a DDT or a powerbomb will kill you. While they can be dangerous, if taken correctly a DDT is one of the tamest moves in all of wrestling.
But worse than that are the people who think chair shots don’t hurt. People, the chairs are real and the hits are real. Oh yeah, and the blood is real. As far as stereotyping wrestlers, the most annoying is that wrestlers don’t feel pain, or don’t feel it as much. No, we do. We just know that pain is temporary. I still hurts, though.
The Serious Tip: Everybody knows pain is weakness leaving the body. Though here at The Serious Tip for some reason we never seem to run out of weakness, hence never-ending pain. So, final question, before I leave you to return to your handlers, why should people go see Bryan Manson?
I’d like to thank Bryan Manson for spending some time with The Serious Tip. Next time though, Mr. Manson, please use the Febreeze after you leave a number two. It’s there for a reason. It stinks in here now.