My Saturday Afternoon Viewing Adventure

By | February 17, 2007

Normally I don’t post on Saturdays. It is my one day to do nothing, write nothing, and totally veg out. Ok, maybe play a little basketball, but that’s it. Today however, I am compelled by the spirits of writing to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and share my Saturday afternoon viewing adventure.

Although I went to bed with the intent of running a local 5K, I woke up at 7:45 Saturday morning sadly lacking the pep and vigor needed to go running. After the TV weatherman announced the temperature was a cool 38 degrees, my mind was completely made up to return to bed for another five hours.

Around 1pm I re-emerged from my slumber, plopped on the couch, and turned on the TV. But what to watch? There had to be some college basketball on. I was sure Florida State was playing Virginia, but what channel was it on?

While scanning the channels and failing to find the FSU game, I did find some interesting shows.

Did you know SF Giants outfielder Ryan Klesko hosts a hunting show on The Outdoor Channel? What is that all about? Why Ryan Klesko? Apparently Ryan, who The Outdoor Channel calls “one of the best baseball players of his generation” (I guess Juan Uribe wasn’t available), is an “avid outdoor enthusiast, spending much of his free time hunting, fishing, surfing and even gold prospecting”. Why a guy who made 9 million in 2006 needs to find money in rivers and streams is beyond me. Anyway …

Cruising past The Adventures of Ryan Klesko, I stopped for a few moments on Bibleman. For those who have never had the experience of watching Bibleman, let me briefly summarize: Bibleman, played by Willie Aames, a.k.a. “Charles in Charge” actor Buddy Lembeck, is a Bible-quoting superhero who tells kids how they can be closer to God. A well-meaning show, I guess. But what really made me chuckle, besides the fact that Bibleman wears his superhero outfit everywhere he goes, was the names of other characters, Cypher and Ludicrous. I wonder how many of the religious producers and actors affiliated with the show realize the humor there.

For those not in the know, Ludicrous (spelled differently, of course) is one of the best-selling rappers on the charts today and writer of the classic hip-hop anthem “Move Bitch” and Cypher, for those not in touch with their illegal narcotic rhetoric, means “the cycle in which drugs (mainly weed) are being passed“. So now when you are watching Half Baked and Dave Chappelle says “Don’t break the cypher”, you know what he means. Breaking the cypher is bad manners. Puff, puff, pass. Anything less might get you shot. And these are the people in Bibleman’s neighborhood. But I digress.

Well, after all my channel surfing, I finally found the FSU-Virginia game. Another stellar performance by Al Thorton, who scored 30 and pulled down 16 rebounds, yet another close defeat for the Seminoles, who have lost four in a row. I’ve already started praying to the tourney gods as FSU needs a miracle if they think they are going to be playing in the Big Dance. Maybe they need to call Ryan Klesko or Bibleman. Or those maybe those defensive experts from the Sonic commercials. I’m sure they could help.

By the way, I have to agree with TheBigLead, Yesica Toscanini is the most beautiful of the SI bikini models.

- Jordi

Share

One thought on “My Saturday Afternoon Viewing Adventure

  1. Jay

    I seem to remember hearing about Klesko going on drug busts carrying a bat. I think there was a picture of it in SI one time, too. That, and the way the Bob Dole impersonator on Conan O’Brien would say, “Klessssss-ko!” for no apparent reason back in the mid-90s.

    Speaking of busts and SI…yeah. Welcome back, swimsuit issue. Welcome back.

Comments are closed.