2007
09.25

Jogging around the world once again …

To start, doesn’t the NFL have bigger fish to fry than cheerleaders warming up in front of opponents? Was this that big of a problem? I know there are women (the Patriots’ Alysha Castonguay comes to mind) who have a certain je ne sais quoi that makes gazing avoidable, but this isn’t Lawrence Taylor’s lady friends “wearing out” the opposing team the night before.

On a personal note, you will never hear me criticizing cheerleaders like the commentariat over at AOL Fanhouse. If it wasn’t for one of the wonderful FSU Cheerleaders, I would not have graduated cum laude. (I know, I am bragging about my intellectual prowess, but there is a moral.) I had a 3.49 GPA going into the last final of my last class and since the professor didn’t give “A-”s or “B+”s, I had to ace the final or else I would graduate with an anti-climactic 3.48. Enter a cheerleader who I knew had the final two days earlier. After seeing her in Subway of all places, she told me what to expect on the final. No, she didn’t give me the answers, she only told me the questions. So I gambled, studied only those questions, aced the test, and graduated with a 3.52. That is why you will never hear me say anything derogatory about cheerleaders. For them I am forever grateful.

Moving on to other Florida State-related hi-jinx, some time this week my esteemed alma mater will elaborate on the futures of recent malcontents Geno Hayes and Joe Surratt. Hayes and Surratt were arrested late last week for fighting at a popular fraternity and sorority bar. That place was always too crowded for me. How Hayes had the room to fight in there is beyond me. I could barely move around. I’m curious to see how “Bowden Justice” handles these two. Knowing past patterns, seen here and here, starting linebacker Hayes has nothing to worry about. The seldom-used Surratt, on the other hand, will probably need to find another line of work.

Speaking of attempted beatdowns, I’m assuming Jose Offerman’s lawyer is not working under one of those “if we don’t win, it’s free” guarantees. I’m no lawyer, nor do I play one on TV, but judging from the pictures of Offerman charging the mound with a bat, I’m guessing charges of battery may stick. Hopefully we get a post by the Sports Law Blog on Offerman’s chances to prove his innocence.

Unfortunately, Offerman isn’t the only baseball journeyman acting the fool. Milton Bradley has never been the calmest of souls, but getting hurt arguing with an umpire is ridiculous. There’s no reason to channel Yngwie Malmsteen and attempt to “unleash the f’in fury” on an umpire. He is not going to change his call.

Another guy who should be singing Bobby Fuller is Mr. Michael Gerard Tyson. Tyson, who plead guilty to drug possession, goes to court on November 19th, or as I like to call it, 21 days before Michael Vick goes back to court (Dec 10th). Let’s just say Roger Cossack of ESPN is going to be a very busy man.

Of course, the day Vick starts his sentencing, the Falcons are playing the New Orleans Saints. Speaking of the Saints, as much as the reconstruction of New Orleans is a big story, and rightfully so, why don’t we hear more about the rebuilding of Aceh in Indonesia and other areas decimated by the Sumatra Tsunami of December 2004? If you remember, over 283,000 people were killed throughout the South Pacific and Indian Ocean region. Maybe if Indonesia had a sports team, we would be more concerned.

Ending on a lighter island-related note, Baseball Prospectus recently gave a preview of the upcoming Hawaiian Winter Baseball League. Yeah, I’m thinking a vacation is in order. Beaches, babes, Hawaiian beer, and baseball.

Speaking of babes …

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  1. Enjoyed the story about the cheerleader and your GPA.

    On a sidenote, I’m watching the Yanks @TB game, and there is this dude heckling the Yankees whose voice is so loud (in that mostly empty stadium) that he can be heard during the telecast. The announcers are now talking about him.

    My point being… where are you tonight?