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Sorta Off Topic: How Now, Frau Vow? And other thoughts on weddings


Maybe you noticed, maybe you didn’t, but I haven’t posted in nearly a week. My most humble apologies. I was out of town attending the wedding of the only fan I have interviewed for this site, the indomitable Zheke Snow.

So now I’m back. And honestly, its weird. Since getting back to Tampa, I’ve been thinking about a line from an old local Tallahassee rap-rock band named Presence, “inclined to quench your hunger like supersizing your fries” “the ties you have with your friends is the prize”. Anyway …

With ol’ Zheke’s wedding now in the past, my thoughts are now drifting towards my own possible nuptials. Not that any woman in her legally sane mind would marry me (unless she was from Russia or had copious amounts of alcohol – I’m working the latter angle for now). But if that day comes I want to be ready.

Whereas there have been other male suggestions through the years, here is a few things I want to happen if I ever tie the knot.

Encourage the Wave – Although I am not a big fan of the wave, I would highly encourage any family, friend, or complete stranger to start the wave during my ceremony. How cool would that be?

Say My Vows in the Third Person – How absolutely great would it be if when el padre asks “Do you, Jordi Scrubbings, take the future Mrs Scrubbings to be your wife?”, I say, “Jordi does.”

Wrestling Introductions – Although it might be a little low-class to mention people’s weight as they walk into the reception, I think it would be great to have someone like Howard Finkle announce the incoming bride and groom and their associates. “Ladies and gentlemen, now entering the reception, the reason you are all here, the newwwwwww nuptial champions of the world, Mr. and Mrs. Jordi Scrubbings.”

Sign a Program, Win a Dance – You know how at the ballpark the public address announcer will bellow something to the effect of “Hey fans! If your program is signed on page 37 by The San Diego Chicken you win a prize”? Well, I want to do that during my reception. Only instead of a box of Cracker Jacks, the lucky winner will be able to dance with the bride. “Hey friends and family, if your program is signed by Jordi, you win a dance with the bride!”

Imagine that.

It’s easy, if you try.

Anyway, this was just something to whet your appetite. I did some writing during the trip, so expect some more great musings this week.

Peace out.


1 comment on Sorta Off Topic: How Now, Frau Vow? And other thoughts on weddings

  1. You may be on to something. The minor-league announcers and promotions during a wedding reception…. I like it.

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