2008
09.16

Pitchback potification

For some reason about five minutes ago I started thinking about my childhood baseball career and specifically the many “pitchbacks” I went through. I don’t know why these thoughts came into my head. They just popped in there. Kinda like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man in Ghostbusters. Anyway, for those who were not aspiring left-handed junk-ballers, let me explain what a pitchback was. It was a curved net, about four feet tall and about 2.5 feet wide, that would force a thrown ball back to the thrower (see picture).

(For more childhood memories regarding the pitchback, and a few more pictures, check out this blog: (Sidearm Delivery: Disappointing Childhood Toys: The Pitchback.)

Although I never had the problems the writer from Sidearm Delivery had, I did go through at least four pitchbacks while between the ages of 9 to 13. To tell the truth, I don’t remember why they broke, probably from overuse. Hopefully from overuse. I do remember however my friends and I trying to carry a pitchback all over town, from neighborhood to neighborhood, wherever we could find a spot to play ball. Imagine the sight of a bunch of kids, pre-teens I guess is what we would be called now, riding their bikes through the suburbia of Central Florida, with one lugging a large net over his back. That was us.

As Sidearm Delivery kinda hints at, pitchbacks weren’t very good for baseballs, which is probably why he hated his so much. But it was killer for “Tennis Ball Baseball”, the game of choice in the ‘burbs, where cars and houses often defined the parameters of the field of play. Why we never went to an actual baseball field is beyond me. If I remember right, I think the real fields were too far away. A whopping five miles or so, tops. But that’s a long way when someone has to carry a pitchback.

To this day, I wonder if any big leaguers ever started with a pitchback. Most kids I knew that were really good (besides me, of course) had dads who built them batting cages, or in one case, one kid’s dad was Minnesota Twins trainer. A bit of a slight advantage when you are being taught your curve ball from Burt Blyleven. Yeah, that’s fair.

Another big problem with the pitchback was it didn’t really help. It didn’t teach you how to throw fast, it didn’t teach you how to field, and it sure didn’t teach you how to hit. It didn’t even come with a book on how to throw different pitches. I guess the one thing the pitchback did was teach me good control, but being able to move the ball in and out on hitters isn’t really appreciated in Little League and other pre-high school levels.

So this my ode to the pitchback, an essential part of my young baseball dreams. Dreams that would have been so much cooler had they come true.

Pitchback, back pitch
I wish you could have made me rich.
But you were only metal and net,
Not a great teaching bet.
Looking back I needed a coach
Someone who could make the most
Of this tall skinny lefty with a rubber arm
but a fastball that could do no harm.

Oh pitchback, how you failed me
I could have been a Met, a Marlin, or even a Yankee
Instead my career amounted to zip
And I am stuck writing about you on The Serious Tip.

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  1. I only had one pitchback. It was a prize by eating 500 cans of Del Monte fruit and sending in the labels.

    I ate a can a day of Del Monte fruit for a year and a half. Then, I n, and got my “pitch back machine.”

    The shitty part was that it was small. I leaned it against my fance at home.

    The fence was actually taller and wider than the pitch back. Thus, it served no purpose, except it gave me a specific target.

    The other shitty part was that if I threw too high, I’d wind up throwing the ball into the woods behind my house. That sucked, as I would have to hop the fence and search through poison ivy for my ball.

    The final shitty part was that it wore out quickly in the sun. Thus, the year and a half of canned fruit covered in high fructose corn syrup, and potential fructose enabled diabetes really didn’t get me much play time.

    I did wind up hurting my arm from throwing for hours a day.

    Regardless, I loved that thing!

    I am going to start eating canned fruit again. Maybe they’ll run another promotion.

  2. For us it was a backstop for wiffle ball. The entire pitchback was the strike zone including the metal frame. You could throw some wicked curves and it the frame with the batter never having a chance of hitting it. My brother and I were just talking about these memories the other day.

    Will in Rochester

  3. I love my pitchback…I was one of the 1st girls on little league in NYC….I still go out in the driveway after a crappy day @ work & throw balls at my customers' heads!