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Stopping Driving While Old


oldfolksDid you know old people are the 5th greatest cause of death on the roads?

Did you know the average old person drives 64% slower than the average driver?

Did you know old people are 51% less likely to pass a tractor driven by a chipmunk?

Like it or not, old people are a nuisance and should be categorically eliminated from our roadways.

Of course, I have a plan. I call it the “15 Year Plan”. It’s simple.

On their 69th birthday every driver has to take a driving test and renew their license.

On their 74th birthday (5 years later), they have to take another one.

On their 78th birthday (4 years later), drivers have to take a third test.

On their 81st birthday (3 years later), yet another test.

(Do you see the pattern yet?)

On their 83rd birthday (2 years later), drivers have to take another test.

Then on their 84th birthday and every birthday from there on, until they turn in their license, drivers must take yet another drivers test.

I think this could work. It might be a hassle for the department of motor vehicles. But they are trading their hard work for the common good.

Do you think this could work?

(By the way, those stats at the top might not be true.)


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