The Left-Handed Revolution

By | February 9, 2010

Here is a poem I wrote about left-handed people striking out against their right-handed oppressors. Being left-handed is something I’m proud of and I try my best to carry on the legacy of the great lefty geniuses, generals, and gentlemen who made jive-turkeys genuflect from July to June.

¡Viva la Revolución de los Zurdos!

(The Rising of the Left)

Round up the troops!

Call all volunteers!

No longer will we be sinister,

backwards,

or goofy-footed!

Left-handed People!

Descendants of Ehud (Judges 3:27),

the killer of a king,

ruler of the Chosen People,

We Shall Rise Again!

Oppressed in a “right” society for too long.

We are outcasts.

Scissors, can openers shall no longer puzzle us.

We’ll redesign the rifles

so shells no longer scar our cheeks!

We will let the fighting spirit of Napoleon,

Caesar, and the Great Alexander guide us.

With the intellect of Ford, Einstein, and Benjamin Franklin

to our credit,

We shall not fail!

With 32 million nationwide,

we are outnumbered,

but organization can defeat population!

Start with secret handshakes.

Plans will be encoded in conversation.

Decoded only by the “right” side of the brain.

We must claim our own land!

Beat the hands of the noncompliant

with wooden sticks

as they beat ours so long ago!

So let us take a stand!

Fight this war to be Free!

¡Viva la revolución de los zurdos!

Post script: Perusing the ‘net, there is one other site that uses the term “left-handed revolution“. Unfortunately, they don’t talk about ceasing power. They do however make the very insightful claim that “left-handed people may be the most secretly oppressed people in the world”.

How absolutely true.

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